Gulf Pine Catholic

Gulf Pine Catholic • March 22, 2019 16 Complete My Joy An Apostolic Exhortation to the husbands and wives, mothers and fathers of the Diocese of Phoenix BY BISHOP THOMAS J. OLMSTED Bishop of Phoenix (Editor’s Note: This is the third of a six-part series featuring this timely and most relevant Apostolic Exhortation from Bishop Thomas J. Olmsted, Bishop of Phoenix). III. The Mission of Every Chrsitian Family 48. Having looked at the nature of the family, mar- riage, and marital love we can now look at the family’s mission. When family life is lived in accord with the dignity inherent to it, it heals and re-evangelizes the Body of Christ so that the light of Christ can shine forth to all peoples. This again, is because the family reflects the love of the Holy Trinity: “The family has the mis- sion to guard, reveal and communicate love” 14 -- the love of the Trinity and Christ’s love for the Church. 49. This mission is carried out by fathers being fathers, by mothers being mothers, by sons being sons, and by daughters being daughters. St. John Paul II did not say “Family, do what you are” or “Family, strive to make yourselves a family.” Rather, he said “Family, become what you are”: Family allow your nature as a communion of love to grow, develop, mature, and over- flow into the world with a generosity of life and joy. Living “in a manner worthy of the call you have received” (Eph. 4:1) depends firstly upon accepting that calling from God. 50. “Your mission, should you choose to accept it…” begins the drama of every Mission Impossible film. Do you accept your mission, Mom and Dad? Unlike the films, this mission is very possible, though difficult; like the films, you must personally accept the mission. Family, become what you are. ST. JOHN PAUL II Your Marriage, Centered on Jesus Christ 51. But marriage is hard! Those who glimpse the plan that God has for marriage may well agree with the words of G.K. Chesterton when he said, “it is not that Christianity has been tried and found lacking; it is that it has been found difficult and left untried.” No matter our vocation, these words ring true! It is often thought that faithful, chaste, committed, life-long married love is just too difficult. As your shepherd, I want you to remember the angel’s message to Mary, whose unique mission in history likely sounded impossible when she heard it, “nothing will be impossible for God.” (Lk. 1:37) 52. As disciples of Jesus, you can always rely on Him to instruct and guide you. A marriage that is truly Christ-centered will stay with Him who says, “learn from Me” (Matthew 11:29) and to the Father who says, “Listen to Him.” (Mk 9:7) Even as God tells His dis- ciples these things, He knows that this love will con- tinually need to be learned and relearned. As you spouses, year by year, come to Him in personal prayer, Mass and the other Sacraments, say to Jesus, “Teach me and guide me in the way You want me to love my spouse and my family.” I don’t mean this in a general way. The Holy Spirit will guide you specifically to love the unique members of your family “until the hour when we stand before [God]… Saints among the Saints in the halls of heaven.” 15 Blessings of a Chaste Life 53. A word now on the pivotal virtue of chastity in your life. A healthy marriage is impossible without marital chastity. This cannot be overestimated. A healthy and holy marriage without chastity is as likely as a healthy garden without sunlight. No chance. 54. Chastity is not celibacy within marriage. No, the act of sexual intercourse that makes a husband and wife “one flesh” and is ordered to bringing new human per- sons into our world is a great good. Chastity in mar- riage means self-control in sexuality, a freedom to steer one’s sexual desires and actions lovingly, so that in sex you “will the good of each other.” Chastity actually liberates true sexual love! It opposes the slavery caused by its opposite vice: lust. Chaste sexual love refuses to do anything that is lustful. The chaste couple can live their sexual relationship beautifully. 55. What does this mean concretely? First, do no harm to this act, which is meant to renew your wedding vows. Refuse to allow pornography, contraception, or any fantasy mentality to turn this act into an experience of using each other, rather than loving each other. The opposite of “willing the good of your spouse” is “using your spouse as an object for self-gratification.” Do not give any quarter to this temptation. 56. Proactively, to grow your sexual relationship in a loving way, communicate well with each other -- frankly, patiently and readily. Be quick to forgive each other for thoughtless hurts and even sins. Spend time, good time, together cultivating the garden of all areas of your intimacy: your verbal communication, your care for each other’s needs of affection, your time just to be together. These areas of intimacy till the soil of the garden of your love and spill over into a meaningful sexual relationship. Your children, too, will be deeply blessed by this resulting closeness. 57. If you sin in this area, never despair! Get to Confession quickly, and quickly forgive your spouse. Then, begin again. Chastity grows by God’s grace and renewed effort toward self-mastery and freedom. This “self-mastery is a long and exacting work. One can never consider it acquired once and for all.” 16 Major strides can be made with the combined help of the Sacraments, growth in prayer together as a cou- ple, accompaniment of trusted friends, insights from wise experts and complete surrender to Jesus with the intercession of His Mother, St. Joseph and all the saints. Openness to New Life 58. I rejoice in the fatherly teaching of Pope St. Paul VI in his 1968 letter On Human Life ( Humanae Vitae ) where he courageously and prophetically upholds the dignity of husband, wife and child in accord with God’s loving designs. This encyclical, published the year before we became a diocese, remains as relevant as ever. 59. The disaster invited by theologians, bishops, priests and laity who rejected Pope St. Paul VI’s letter is upon us. Enough! What further evidence do we need to see that the Sexual Revolution’s divisions: sexual pleasure separated from procreation, sexuality from marriage, man from woman in divorce, woman from child in abortion, youth from the hope that love can be faithful and beautiful, the elderly from children who can care for them at life’s end -- are a plague of misery on a scale never known before? Enough! Husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, you are called to have great hearts here, counter-cultural and brave. You can build something better, freer, more generous, and nobler, beginning in your own home. 60. Love and openness to life go together in the marital act. Contracepting this unity on purpose, by any means including surgical sterilization, is inviting a poi- son into your marriage. Do not refuse the gift of a new child into your home, into God’s family, into the his- tory of the world, with a soul meant for eternal life. Your own heart will grow in virtue and in the capacity for love, which is the real meaning of your life. 61. At times, a couple discerns, prayerfully and thoughtfully, a just reason to postpone pregnancy for a time or even an indefinite period. The Church recog- nizes and encourages here the exercise of responsible parenthood. “The parents themselves and no one else should ultimately make this judgement in sight of God.” 17 Having a large family is also responsible, and the Church rejoices in this sometimes heroic decision of a married couple, but there can be times when justice and love call for a postponement. What is a couple to do then? This is where the science and discipline of Natural Family Planning are so helpful. Modern meth- ods of NFP , readily available thanks to many dedicated Bishop Olmsted 14. Familiaris Consortio , 17. 15. Eucharistic Prayer for Reconciliation I. 16. CCC, 2342. 17. Gaudium et Spes , 50.