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SOuTHERN SENIOR MAGAzINE
| Fall 2016
by Tom Boone, Ph.D., LCSW
hether we want to admit it or not we are all
getting older. So the question may be, “How
are we going to manage this personal experience?” Some view
it as a journey that is filled with challenges while others may
become absorbed in chronic pain, sadness, and worry, along
with many other issues. As difficult as it may sound, managing
our experiences in a positive way begins with a few simple
steps.
First:
Let’s be realistic; there are some things that can be
“fixed,” while others are chronic and need to be managed.
Knowing the difference is very important. If we know the
difference we can focus on what action(s) may be effective.
REMEMBER, this is a journey and change takes place through
progressive stages, so evaluate and celebrate even the smallest
improvements because they will lead toward positive outcomes.
The experience is in the journey. Realistic thinking is not
negative but is a major part of sensible planning while negative
thinking is disempowering.
Second:
Our attitude dictates our outcome. A positive attitude
produces HOPE, and HOPE produces motivation for action.
Taking control is managing; whether it promotes changing a
complaint or adapting to a situation. However, a negative or
pessimistic attitude invariably results in a sense of hopelessness
and/or helplessness; these emotional states can be changed.
Change the mind and it will change the outcome.
Third:
Take Control of your thoughts. Challenge or dispute
every negative thought or statement you make to yourself. What
we tell ourselves is probably the strongest influence on our
beliefs. After all, our own voice is the most creditable voice
we hear. Consequently, if our thoughts are negative then it is
assumed that we will be receptive to negative expectations;
resulting in negative and perceived results. While controlling
the negative thoughts, begin the process of replacing the
negative with positive thoughts including alternatives,
substitutions, and possibilities. Convince yourself that you are
going to “TAKE CONTROL OF YOURSELF.” Avoid using
words that setup negative expectations; words such as ”I can’t,”
instead use something like “ I haven’t learned how, Yet.”
Fourth:
Be flexible. Learn how to adjust and adapt to change.
By design we are creatures of change. Change takes us on the
journey and has the potential of providing each of us with
opportunities through our good and bad experiences to learn
how to manage adjusting and adapting to change. The search for
the learning experience requires flexibility, and receptivity to
change.
Fifth:
Socially Engage: Reach out to family and friends. Focus
on building strong and positive relationships. Use telephone
and other electronic devices as points of contact Get familiar
with church and social groups and develop relationships with
people who are optimistic and positive. Participate in volunteer
opportunities helping others. Be creative in constructing a
lifestyle that is appealing and beneficial to you.
Sixth:
Set goals: Your goals will be your road map for the
journey. Be sure to include both the serious and the fun.
Incorporate physical, mental, and spiritual maintenance as part
of your journey. Remember we cannot give away something
that we do not have. Always remember giving even the
simplest things to someone else is like planting a seed; it grows
and provides as much or more for the giver than to the receiver,
whether it’s a smile, a hug, an encouraging word, or possibly an
empathic ear. “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” ( Acts
20:35)
W
Dr. Boone has been in private practice for more than 30 years as a counselor/psychotherapist. his passion and focus has been on putting the
client’s wellbeing above all else. His passion along with his education and training has prepared him to work with a wide variety of mental and
emotional needs. In addition, his reputation in the Southern Mississippi area has been well established since locating in Picayune in 1997 from
New Orleans. The guiding principles in his life, are and have been for many years founded in his spiritual relationship with God.
MANAGING LIVING
