Gulf Pine Catholic

Gulf Pine Catholic • April 5, 2019 10 Complete My Joy An Apostolic Exhortation to the husbands and wives, mothers and fathers of the Diocese of Phoenix BY BISHOP THOMAS J. OLMSTED Bishop of Phoenix (Editor’s Note: This is the fourth of a six-part series featuring this timely and most relevant Apostolic Exhortation from Bishop Thomas J. Olmsted, Bishop of Phoenix). IV. Suffering, Sin and Healing 93. While each family is created by God to mirror His own love and to share in His very life, the entrance of sin into the world damaged this original intention and everywhere threatens the strength and stability of the family. Each and every family, without exception, feels the burden of sin and its consequences. However, the suffering caused by sin, when united to Christ, becomes redemptive and can be the source of inde- scribable grace in the sanctification and salvation of your families. 94. Society would tell us that suffering is an evil to be avoided at all costs, even if that avoidance results in sin. But our faith tells us this is not true. 29 Types of Suffering in the Family 95. Original sin is a partial cause of particular suf- ferings for the family, including infertility, sickness, disability, and death. I know that families struggle in their care for ailing children, spouses, and aging grand- parents. I see when parents feel deeply the suffering of a handicapped child. There are many who long for a child but cannot have one of their own. Family mem- bers grieve deeply when a child or parent is prema- turely called home. 96. Another kind of suffering is felt through the col- lective sin of the culture of death. I realize that it is a very real and difficult struggle for parents to raise faithful, spiritually confident children in a society steeped in sins against life and authentic love: where abortion is rampant and support for euthanasia grows, where despair and the violence it breeds explode in schools and neighborhoods, where consumerism and materialism enslave, where pornography invades every formerly safe and sacred aspect of life, where increas- ing numbers of children are encouraged to question their sexual identity in the wake of the lie of gender ideology, 30 and where the damaging and perverse homosexual lifestyle is not only accepted but celebrat- ed. Families of faith, the Church desires to be your support and guide as you navigate daily life in the hos- tility of the post-modern climate. 97. Where the clergy and even elevated shepherds of the Church have failed you in this, I am truly sorry. In this time of upheaval in our Church, when stories of abuse and cover-up remind us of the devastation of sin even within the most sacred of institutions, know that I share your anger and pain -- whether you have been directly or indirectly affected by such violations of vows and trust. This is a tremendous cross and one we carry together, with Christ. 98. Today, nearly all families live in a world of extreme busyness, where countless activities -- even good and wholesome ones -- sap energy and time and leave families drained and disconnected. The legitimate need to provide materially for the family is, for some of you, another source of suffering. Increasingly, mothers find themselves nearly forced to spend more time out- side the home to help provide for the family. Exhaustion can lead to difficulty in being not only physically pres- ent but also emotionally available to the family. Single parents especially may find themselves stretched to the limits of their emotional, physical, and material capa- bility. Military families struggle with prolonged absenc- es and long stretches of anxiety and loneliness. “People are starving for love because everybody is in such a great rush.” ST. MOTHER TERESA OF CALCUTTA 99. A related suffering comes from the excessive use of technology. Increasingly, preoccupation with media finds families exchanging a relational existence for a virtual one. Addiction to screens severs the bonds of intimacy and love in the inner circle of the family. Loneliness breeds loneliness. Left alone, even while home together, family members may find themselves turning more and more to shallow entertainment. Children and parents are left lonely in their own homes. 100. St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta challenges us: “Do you know the poor of your own home first? Maybe in your home there is somebody who is feeling lonely, very unwanted, very handicapped. Maybe your hus- band, your wife, or your child is lonely. Do you know that? Today we have no time even to look at each other, to talk to each other, to enjoy each other...And so less and less we are in touch with each other. The world is lost for want of sweet-ness and kindness. People are starving for love because everybody is in such a great rush.” 31 The Suffering of Sin 101. The sin of one family member upon another may be the greatest of sufferings within the family. Abuse inflicts unspeakable hurt and takes many forms, whether verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual. Unhealed wounds can bleed into relationships in the home and prolong pain for generations. Addiction dis- solves the ability to love freely and creates chaos in family life. Divorce, while socially acceptable and often mistakenly encouraged, can leave in its wake injured spouses, traumatized children, and broken homes. This is a type of suffering few acknowledge, and abandoned spouses and the children of a divorce are often silenced by social shame. 32 Fatherlessness in particular is an epidemic which has scarred the souls of millions of children, whose hearts echo the cry of Jesus on the Cross, “Why have you abandoned me?” Even within otherwise strong and intact marriages, there will be hurt stemming from selfishness, misunderstandings, and lack of charity. I hear this in confessions, and in communications from many of you. 102. Be on guard against the lies that the ‘father of lies,’ who preys upon hurting souls, would speak into these wounds. He is our enemy, and when we are hurt his voice speaks of resentment, fury, revenge. This is not God’s voice or his will. Forgiveness is key to rem- edying the wounds here. Forgiveness, is an important step in the process of healing, and sets us free from the pain, resentment, and anger that can enslave us when we hold hurts too tightly. Forgiveness is not primarily a feeling, instead it is a choice -- a choice to extend God’s merciful love to someone who has hurt you, in obedi- ence to Jesus (Matt 6:14-15) who not only taught us about forgiveness but gave us an example while on the Cross. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34) The Strength to Suffer Well 103. It is strange. One hundred and twenty years ago, toothaches were awful. Life expectancy was two- thirds what it is today. Physically, we now suffer less than any people in human history. We have Ibuprofen and Novocain. But there may be more family suffering than any other time in human his-tory. This results in a gradual erosion of the ability to suffer well. Suicide rates, even among the young, indicate this. In a time when we are often able and even encouraged to indulge in every desire, it becomes increasingly difficult to bear with courage and resilience even the smallest sacrifice which love requires. 104. Marriage and family themselves are caught up in the fallenness of the world. They are no escape from the sufferings of life, but in Christ, they are filled with the grace to bear suffering well, and even with joy. A Future and A Hope 105. Jesus has a plan for your family and His pur- poses will not be thwarted by sin and brokenness -- if you but surrender your hurts to Him in love and trust. “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, plans to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11) 106. To look at Jesus on the cross is to realize that He knows our suffering, from the inside. Venerable Fulton Sheen wrote: “What do the scars of Christ teach us? They teach us that life is a struggle: that our condi- Bishop Olmsted