Catholic Diocese Tucson

12 CATHOLIC OUTLOOK SEPTEMBER 2019 about their faith, their role in the church and how to live their faith out in the world. Today, she said, it’s all about building Catholic relationships. It means stepping outside strict classroom settings and engaging them in video games and social media that reflect the lessons of faith. “Just because it is fun doesn’t mean that it is not educational.” Chapman notes one young adult volunteer at St. Odilia’s brings a projector to class that allows her students to view and discuss online content. Model is working The relationship model is starting to work, Chapman added. The key draw in youth ministry is the sacraments, Chapman said. Parents want their children to be confirmed, to receive first Communion and first Reconciliation. Several years ago, about 20 youths were confirmed, and that usually signals the end of their parish involvement. However, about 10 teens continued to come because they had developed relationships with their youth leaders and members of their group, she said. For students in elementary grades, the dynamic is slightly different, she said. For example, when students come for catechesis and sacramental preparation for first Communion, parents will simply drive up and drop off the children; they never actually attend Mass together as a family. It’s not unusual for children to know more than the parents when first Communion occurs. Chapman said that catechists shouldn’t make assumptions about parents who don’t attend Mass. First, most catechists can’t be certain why the parents don’t attend, and second, shaming parents or making them feel guilty is not likely to make them feel welcomed to return. “I’m not judging their parents,” Chapman said, “and we don’t want their kids judging their parents either.” One option that has shown some success is inviting parents to attend a Saturday morning Mass with their first Communion candidates, Chapman said. She has had some come back to tell her how good it felt to attend. It still takes a jump, however, for them to commit to attend Sunday Mass regularly, she added. “It’s a 30-minute Mass versus 60 minutes.” In the crazy world of a youth minister, you have to know when it is time to go, Chapman said. After nine years, she recalled, there were changes going on at the parish and she just knew it was time to move on. St. Mark’s was smaller – the new church hadn’t been built yet – but under then- pastor Father Liam Leahy, Chapman found a situation where she felt comfortable. She moved into the Youth Ministry role there, serving for nine years. “It certainly was a lot smaller,” she said. Conundrums A youth minister tells teens that she is there to accompany them on their faith journey. Then, circumstances change. It might have to do with new parish or diocesan leadership, or it might be the personal situations the youth minister finds herself in – relationships, jobs, family issues. The youth minister is fired or leaves voluntarily and the process of building those relationships abruptly ends. “The goal is to get youths to have a relationship with Christ,” she said. Another youth ministry conundrum is how to cope with the drama that inherently accompanies relationships with teens. “Drama can actually destroy the ministry,” Chapman noted. She cited the example of trying to cultivate leadership skills in a group of 20 teens. If a youth minister identifies and works with 10, some of those may take themselves too seriously and create issues. Meanwhile some of the other 10 might be hurt and create issues because they were excluded. Dealing with 20 teens, all trying to make sense of their lives, and working to make friends while coming from different cultural and family backgrounds, it can create the perfect drama storm for a youth minister. “All you want them to know is how important they are to God,” Chapman said. When youths get difficult, all you can do is “love them more,” she added. Chapman recalled one teen from St. Elizabeth’s who complained all the time on her way to class and during class. Twenty years later, Chapman said, she recruited her to work at St. Odilia’s and “we just laugh about it now.” Getting the right volunteers is important and young adults have more experiences in common with teens than older adults do. Chapman noted with regret that a longtime senior catechist had to be told that this was her last year as a volunteer, because her teaching style had become too regimented and was unsuccessful in ministry. She compared it to a woman having a child at age 16 and again at 40. “There’s a reason why you have children when you are younger,” she said. “There’s a timetable for these things.” Times change, Chapman said, recalling when she could bring pizza to her students in their public schools for lunch. She also remembered growing up, how if she ever balked at attending Sunday Mass, the reaction from her parents was swift and sure. “Today we have parents who let the teens make the decision,” she said, adding that she notices the significant decline in the numbers of young families that attend Sunday Mass. In her home, “Mass is a requirement of being a family,” Chapman said. When infrequently- attending family members come to visit her for Christmas, they will be strongly encouraged to attend. “This is what our family does.” ‘Dream job’ Chapman said she is very glad to be faith formation director at St. Odilia’s at this point in her life, getting paid full-time to do ministry she loves. She noted that she worked as an accountant for 20 years, and “this is my dream job.” With her record of service in youth ministry and the number of young people she’s mentored over the years, “they call me the ‘Grandma of Youth Ministry,’” she said with a chuckle. The reality is that getting young families to come to church is a challenge. St. Odilia’s tried starting a book Catholic Outlook photo by Steff Koeneman Chapman begins another season in faith formation as she reviews materials during registration Aug. 18 at St. Odilia Parish in Tucson. HEART continued from page 9 See HEART on page 13 With her record of service in youth ministry and the number of young people she’s mentored over the years, “they call me the ‘Grandma of Youth Ministry,’” she said with a chuckle.