Colorado Real Estate Journal - May 6, 2015
I will never forget the recent 2015 Masters golf tournament where Jordon Spieth, 21 years old, led from start to finish, and won the coveted Green Jacket. Each evening, with apprehension, I would turn on the Golf Channel to see whether Spieth had succumbed to the pressure and choked. But he didn’t. In fact, Spieth tied the tournament record Tiger Woods set when he was 21, and shot the lowest 54-hole score in Masters history. I am in absolute awe that Spieth was able to compete with the world’s best golfers, under the media’s constant barrage of commentary, and play with little fear and such high confidence and composure. When I played competitive golf, I carried a 2-foot piece of garden hose as my 14th club that I would, more often than not, need to insert down my throat so that I could breathe while choking under the pressure! And that was when I was on the driving range before the match. While embarrassing, it really worked, especially on the 18th hole with a 2-foot putt to win. And there is absolutely no worse feeling than standing over a short putt and knowing you do not have a chance to make it. Over the years, I have purchased more putters, rationalizing that my putting problems (yips) were due to my putters, and not my mindset. I have tried putting cross-handed and every other imaginable grip known to golf to help me make the 2-footer under pressure. I even tried closing my eyes when I putted. And I confess, owning more than 20 putters is another clear sign of choking. And don’t get me started on the fearful shank. I broke out in a cold sweat just thinking about the tournament I lost when I cold-shanked my approach on the 18th hole into a pond. I made a double bogey and lost by one stroke. As every golfer knows, the most well known cliché is that the game is 90 percent mental, which means that the game is largely emotional – it’s about trusting and believing in yourself and playing good golf under pressure. Choking is having thoughts go through your mind that should not be there during “the excitement of the moment.” I am fascinated with the dreaded “C” word. There is so much to be learned by studying choking, and I have experienced it and have studied it intensely. And I still carry my trusty “no choke” 2-foot garden hose device, and have used it on and off the course for the past 25 years. Now while most of us will never have the opportunity to compete at the Masters, I do believe that we currently have, or will, encounter moments where we find out whether we can endure well in the midst of great trials and tragedies. In the excitement of the moments how are we going to handle the pressure? Will we endure it well, which is not to be confused with merely “tying a knot” at the end of our rope and just holding on. We are all going to have ups and downs. We must figure out, beforehand, how we are going to deal when the “excitement of the moment” confronts us. Will we be able to adapt to the situation and finish the task with confidence and composure? Or will we revert to the Velcro strip on our wrist – attached to our foreheads, commiserating and grieving our round and lot in life, choking and admitting that we swallowed the apple. In addition to my trusty “no choke” 2-foot garden hose, I share with you four additional antichoke shots that I acquired over the years, which help me negate my tendency to choke in the excitement of my moments: 1. Discern quickly the beginnings of discord. If a person says or does something that I consider offensive, my first obligation is to refuse to take offense and then communicate privately, honestly and directly with that individual. 2. I must control my temper and disposition, even when I am provoked. I try never to get angry, but treat others mildly. There is absolutely no place in the workplace or in the home for anger. Neal A. Maxwell provided this wise counsel, “Anger should never be offered a seat or invited to sit down, and should never be an overnight guest.” No one can make us angry. It is our choice. We can absolutely choose to refrain from becoming angry; to leave unsaid the harsh and hurtful things we may be tempted to say. We should develop the habit of stopping and reflecting before anything comes out of our mouths. And we should never do, write or say anything that we will later regret. I have found it best to smother to death whatever is bothering me until it is gone from me. No good comes from letting off steam. 3. Tolerance is the ability to see another’s viewpoint. It is good to possess tolerance and patience, to see things from another’s perspective. 4. We must not murmur or indulge in self-pity and must refuse to view ourselves as victims. There is absolutely no need to share any radioactivity out of our resentments, unhappiness and uneasy spirit. We can choose to be of good cheer. Attitude makes all the difference in our daily lives, and we control our attitude. Every day, every moment, we choose to be miserable or happy, content or dissatisfied. For maximum happiness, peace and contentment, choose a positive attitude. And now, as I am on the back nine of life, and can clearly see the clubhouse, I will continue striving daily to cultivate an even, unruffled temper, until I can perfectly control myself at all times, in all places and under all circumstances, with grace and utmost respect for myself and others.