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I don’t know about you readers, but I have always needed con- stant help in learning how to put my attitude in the right place, and how to keep it there. If I were asked for the secret of living our daily lives in this complicated world we live in, I would have to say that it is all about attitude. What helps me in this department is several thoughts, state- ments, hints, philosophies, reminders, that I have found and col- lected through my many years of life. I like to call them my “Gems of Wisdom”. One good thing about getting older is that we do acquire some wisdom. I would like to pass on these ‘Gems’ to you readers, I hope even one of them helps someone. I have gathered these gems from books, seminars, self-help groups, etc. If it is words that I think I need to keep in my daily thoughts, I add to my collection. Remember, we don’t HAVE to do anything! We can make choices. However, we do have to live with the consequences of our choices. I like to use the example of a dirty toilet, an un- pleasant job that needs to be done in every home. I do not have to clean that dirty toilet; I can choose to let it stay dirty. But this means I will have to live with a dirty toilet. So, I have made a choice. Apply this philosophy to the many things we feel like we ‘have’ to do sometimes, and it makes those chores easier to take. Keep in mind, we DO NOT control other people or events! We do, however, have control over our reaction to these things. This means that we can make the choice to let other people’s bad behavior or hurtful words not upset us or make us angry. Nobody or no event ‘makes’ us angry or upset. We do that to ourselves. I promise you; life is a whole lot easier if you make these good choices. It prevents us from doing or saying some- thing we will regret. We do have the right to let another know we don’t appreciate what they have done or said. Happiness is not having what you want; it’s wanting what you have! Another saying that goes with this is the adage about the grass always being greener on the other side of the fence. We have cows, and I see them often crane their necks to reach out through the barbed wire to munch on grass on the other side of the fence. We humans can do the same thing to ourselves, al- ways wanting something else, thinking it will make a huge dif- ference in our lives. Happiness is all about attitude, rather than looking for something more, something better……find the good in what is. There is something good about every person; your current home, your own body, or job, etc. Never stop learning, even if it’s something very small! The mind is like a muscle, we need to keep using it. I think we have a built-in drive to keep learning, so life is just better if we make sure we don’t stop learning. If you are curious about something, find a book or article on it, Google it, learn more about it. Ask questions. Books or magazines, or articles anywhere you find them are great ways to keep our minds active, we can visit any- place, find out about anything or anybody through reading. When faced with a decision, ask yourself which decision you can most live with 6 months from now, 5 years from now, 10 years from now, and so on . Consciously trying to make a deci- sion that you won’t regret later, sure makes life easier. Who does- n’t want to eliminate regret from their lives? Anyone who is wrapped up in themselves is going to be un- happy! Because the rest of the world and other people will never go 100% your way. Boy! Is this true, huh? Self-cen- teredness can make one nothing but miserable. If we truly try to keep much of our focus outward instead of inward, we can elim- inate a lot of misery. Learn to ‘go with the flow’. This sounds so simple….but it is not. I do know that my life is much easier if I don’t let unex- pected things completely throw me into a tizzy. The first thing I had to do was to train myself not to react quickly. I found that if I take a couple breaths, step back and give the situation an an- alytical thought, I can usually figure out that it really isn’t that big a deal. Every once in a while, take a good hard look at yourself! Fig- ure out if you are behaving your best, if there are any improve- ments you can make in your attitude, the way you treat people, your honesty, etc. It’s like a business that takes an inventory once a year. We should also take a personal inventory some- times of our thoughts and behavior. Don’t let yourself be totally critical and focus only on your bad points, recognize your By Phyllis Stockstill Author My “Gems of Wisdom” 12 SOUTHERN SENIOR MAGAZINE | Summer 2020