Manataba Messenger

Page 18 Obituaries ATTN: Colorado River Indian Tribal Members: If you need funeral service assistance or have questions regarding the process, please call the CRIT Tribal Council Secretary’s office at (928) 669-1219/1221. ParkerFH.com 928-669-2156 TAKING CARE OF EACH OTHER is what community is all about. PARKER FUNERAL HOME All obituaries, service, and memorial notices are printed FREE OF CHARGE. Email them with photos to: manatabamessenger@gmail.com Kevin E Yazzie JUNE 19, 1985 – FEBRUARY 29, 2020 Michael Esquerra OCTOBER 26, 1980 – MARCH 6, 2020 JoAnn Marie Gates JUNE 20, 1941 – MARCH 14, 2020 Services were on March 24, 2020 viewing took place at Dignity Memorial from 3 PM-4 PM. Traditional cremation services immediately followed at C.R.I.T. Cry House. Charlotte Manchado November 14, 1947 - March 19,2020 Beloved Mother, Sister and Grandmother. She loved playing her favorite slots at the local casinos. She enjoyed traveling, and she especially enjoyed spending time with her grandchildren. She was an exceptional employee, working many years at White Glove, Desert Manor, and finally retiring from Paradise Casino. She is survived by her children Eddie Manchado, Leon Manchado (Tina), her grandchildren Catherine, Mia, McCarthy, Tashea, and Noah. Her brother Jerry Manchatta; and her sisters Katrinka and Marcelline Manchado. She is preceded in death by her father, David Manchatta, and her mother, Cathrine Burns King. Her Paternal Grandfather Joe Manchado and her Maternal Grandparents, Rose Emerson and Frank Burns.Pallbearers: Lelord Roosevelt, Lowell Roost, Jose Lopez, Luke Porter, Daniel & Gary Hunter, Tommy & Bobby Counts, Donovan Manchado, McCarthy Manchado, and Chris Sanchez. Honorary Pallbearers: Joshua Miguel, Michael Manchado, Quentin Barley, Travis Manchado, Boyd Sr., Boyd Jr., and Steven Hill, Donald Medart Jr., Arlie Emerson, Christoble Emerson and the Burns/Johnson family. Tribal rites began on Thursday, April 2nd, 2020, at 5:00 pm in Winterhaven, CA, and cremation was at 5:00 am on Friday, April 3rd, 2020. Orlando Valentino Short Jr. MARCH 29, 1988 – MARCH 20, 2020 Justin Howard MARCH 24, 1994 – MARCH 20, 2020 Justin Brian Holmes FEBRUARY 2, 1999 - MARCH 20, 2020 GRIEF Six Signs of Incomplete Grief When the grief process is stalled, it can take its toll on you. Here are some common signs of incomplete grief: Irritability / anger I’ve met many clients over the years who come to therapy for anger management or irritability and somewhere around the third session mention that their partners thought they have been particularly more irritable in the last six months since their father died or mother died. How’d they react at the time, I ask. Often it was by step- ping up, pushing grief away, resulting in an out-of-the- blue explosion or steady irritability. Continued obsessing / missing of the other Obsessing about what happened and why and feeling those pangs of sadness and loss are part and parcel of nor- mal grief, particularly in the weeks following. But some- times a person will get stuck on emotional rewind and can’t move forward. They find themselves dialing the deceased person’s phone number or they replay moments of regret, or cry whenever the lost person or something sad is mentioned. Hyperalertness / fear of loss After a loss, life can seem more fragile, a person can feel more vulnerable, the world can seem unsafe. In response to these thoughts and feelings the person may become hypersensitive and alert, now wired to be prepared for the worse. Behavioral overreaction With any significant loss, consciously or not, we make a decision about how we need to be to avoid dealing with such pain and trauma again. When incomplete grief is added to the mix, a person can overreact. One person may become more dependent on a partner, while someone else may swing way to the opposite side and pull away from others, avoiding any sense of closeness to order to avoid potential loss and pain. This way of coping can quickly solidify into a longer-term pattern in relationships. Addictive / self-harming behaviors Where some, in pushing their emotions aside, may inter- nalize and get angry or hyperalert, others may keep those feelings at bay through, for instance, over-eating. For oth- ers still, it may be drugs or workaholism, or engaging in high-risk behaviors. Apathy / numbness / low-grade depression Here the shutting down of grief is like throwing a heavy blanket over our emotional selves. The result is an emo- tional numbness, low-grade but persistent depression, a why-bother attitude, a lack of energy, drive, motivation. COMPLETING THE GRIEF PROCESS If you suspect that you may be struggling with the under- tow of past losses, however small or large, there are few things you can do: —Get closure. One effective way of doing this is writing out your thoughts. I have an exercise that I use with clients that has been effective—see "Getting Closure: 3 Letters" here on my blog for instructions on how to do this. — Move towards what you might be avoiding. Jake, whose father died, could visit his father’s gravesite, which he has been finding excuses to avoid. Amanda can talk to her mother about her grandmother or about the funeral; rather than cutting off ties, Emma can keep in contact with colleagues from her old job or write a letter to the CEO describing how she felt about the firing process. Continued next month. www.psychologytoday.com Suppressed grief suffocates, it rages within the breast, and is forced to multiply its strength. - Ovid