Gulf Pine Catholic

8 Gulf Pine Catholic • December 20, 2024 “If you dare to love. Be pre- pared to grieve.” That sentence by theologian, Danial O’Leary, has gnawed at me for a long time as I try to unravel it, make sense of it and discover its true mean- ing. The first thought that comes to mind is the Christmas story. The defenseless Christ Child shows the power of love in its weakness and invites us to grieve for our own lack of control in our own lives. There is a God who dared to love us un- conditionally by becoming one of us in the person of Jesus and that same God grieved at the lack of faith and acceptance because they had no room in the inn of their hearts for that love. The second thought that came to mind was the Virgin Mary. Because of her deep love for the Lord and being chosen as the bosom of birth for Jesus, she had to face the prediction of Simeon who reminded her that a sword would pierce her heart. For Mary, she dared to love and even met grief at the cross of her Son. If you dare to love. Be prepared to grieve. When a child is born, life changes dramatically for the parents. That baby is a symbol of both power and powerlessness. Parents of that child give away their power in loving. Now someone who is needy, needs them every moment of the day. They grieve because they are no longer carefree, no longer in control of their own destiny but are dictated to by the vulnerability of a child they have created. Instead, their time and energy is channeled to a helpless one that dictates their time and energy. If you dare to love. Be prepared to grieve. There are many Marys who loved a child into ex- istence, and yet, ended up, still loving, but yet, griev- ing because the child she conceived may be Down’s Syndrome, Autistic or challenged in other ways. If you dare to love, be prepared to grieve. Every parent knows that, so often, the shadow of a Good Friday awaits them; that, while every birth might be seen as a kind of resurrection, a sign from God that there is still something to hope for, that the best is yet to come; there are still many deaths to endure. If you dare to love. Be prepared to grieve. Sometimes, you meet a loving, committed cou- ple who have lived and loved together for decades. One dies, and, the other, with a broken heart and grief-stricken spirit, wishes that they, too, should die and join their loved one. If you dare to love. Be pre- pared to grieve. Someone dares to make a lifelong commitment to a loving relationship, only to discover that the person they committed to just found out that they had incur- able cancer and the relationship is visited by the grief of an untimely and unwarranted end. Someone, loving their child, an extension of themselves, received a visit or phone call that their child has been killed in an accident. If you dare to love. Be prepared to grieve. Someone dares to love another person and invests in the relationship only to discover unfaithfulness or even physical or mental cruelty. If you dare to love, be prepared to grieve You trust someone; confide in them your inmost thoughts and feelings, and yet, you grieve because they betray or take advantage of your vulnerability. If you dare to love. Be prepared to grieve. Life is filled with people who dare to love and had no choice but to accept their own inner grief. I think about my sister-in-law, Mary, who is married to my brother, Tom. Obviously, their dream was to grow old lovingly together, once they had raised their children and given them wings to fly. My broth- er developed Parkinson’s fourteen years ago and his condition has gradually deteriorated. Mary has to help him get dressed; help feed him at times; make sure he takes his medicine; try to decipher what he is trying to communicate; make sure that he doesn’t fall as well as constantly assure him that she is there for him. How does she do it? If you dare to love. Be prepared to grieve. The Scriptures are filled with stories and encoun- ters with a God who dares to love, only to grieve at the lack of response from us. Yet that unresponsive- ness on our part has not deterred Him for continuing to dare to love us. SEE ACROSS THE POND, PAGE 19 If you dare to love… Across the Pond Father Tracey The story of the Nativity reminds us that God can bring good out of trials. For the Holy Family, the events surrounding the birth of Jesus proved to be enormous- ly difficult. Nevertheless, these challenges ultimately brought about great joy -- and this combination of trials and joy came to define their existence. They also define the existence of all who choose to follow in Christ’s footsteps. One can only imagine the mix of emotions that must have beset Mary and Joseph when they sheltered in a stable waiting for Mary to give birth and then fled Herod’s Massacre of the Innocents -- anticipation, worry, joy, fear, panic, relief. These emotions and the trials they endured made Mary and Joseph resourceful, a character trait they certainly imparted to Jesus, con- tributing to the fortitude He demonstrated in the most challenging moments of His life. For the Holy Family, the joy of the Nativity and their relief in finding safety in Egypt infused their strug- gle with a sense of purpose by highlighting the peaceful way of life they sought together. We see this hunger for peace in all Christ taught to His disciples. In their joys and trials, the Holy Family learned to rely most fervently on one another, beginning with Jesus in the manger relying upon Mary and Joseph for protection at His most vulnerable. Saint Josemaria Escriva said, “Every time Christmas comes around, I love to look at represen- tations of the child Jesus. Statues and pictures which show a God who lowered Himself remind me that God is calling us. The Al- mighty wants us to know that He is defenseless, that He needs men’s help. From the cradle at Bethle- hem, Christ tells you and me that He needs us. He urges us to live a Christian life to the full -- a life of self-sacrifice, work and joy.” The vulnerability God the Father allowed His Di- vine Son to experience as an infant foreshadowed the vulnerability Jesus ultimately felt called to submit to in laying His life down for us all. It was that vulnerability amid the tumult of His birth that taught the Holy Family their most important lesson, which was the necessity of relying on God and one another to survive the trials of life. This is an important reason why the Nativity brings such peace to our hearts, because it shows us this way of mercy, where we rely on one another in a loving re- lationship with God to lead us to safety and happiness. This is the profound message of Christmas: that God has sent us a Savior willing to be vulnerable enough to join us in everything from trial to joy. It is this astounding gift that gives rise to Christmas joy. G.K. Chesterton once gave an insightful explana- tion of the miracle at the heart of Christmas joy when he wrote, “Christmas is built upon a beautiful and inten- tional paradox; that the birth of the homeless should be celebrated in every home.” The trials surrounding the Nativity bring this beau- tiful paradox into focus, and the contemplation of this paradox can open our hearts -- even the hardest of hearts -- because it reminds each one of us that Christ came for us personally. At our weakest and most vulnerable moments, Christ is closest to us, wanting to join us and lift our hearts to God. So, let us take joy in the Nativity even amid our trials because God has sent us a Savior who meets us where we are and leads us to salvation. Fr. Ed Dougherty, M.M., serves on The Chris- tophers’ Board of Directors. For a free copy of the Christopher News Note, GOOD SPORTSMANSHIP, write: The Christophers, 5 Hanover Square, New York, NY 10004; or e-mail: mail@christophers.org . The trials and joys of the Holy Family Light One Candle Fr. Dougherty