AZ India

F E E L A T H O M E www.azindiatimes.com PAGE - 18 May 2019 1-844-AZINDIA Gap Year Programs To Consider Before College By Kristen Moon kristen@moonprep.com Diaspora Children Need Acquaintance with the Last Rites! Dr. Jaswant Singh Sachdev, M.D., F.A.A.N* jaswantsachdev@gmail.com Traditionally, students have transitioned directly from high school into their first year of undergraduate. While some students follow this path and excel, other students might have trouble adjusting. Many students are now taking a gap year between high school and college to gain life experiences to better prepare for university. Students can use the gap years to travel, volunteer, or further their knowledge in a particular subject. Schools like Harvard University, Princeton, and Middlebury College often look positively on gap years and frequently allow students to defer enrollment for one year to pursue this opportunity. For students who want to strengthen their resume before applying to colleges, a gap year can teach them invaluable skills. It gives students a chance to mature further before committing to college. One option is to attend a gap year program, like the ones listed below, that give their attendees a structured and transforma- tional experience. NOLS NOLS is an immersive gap year program that allows students to explore every corner of the world, from India to Alaska to Mexico. The non-profit outdoor edu- cation school aims to teach environmental ethics, outdoor technical skills, and risk management and judgment. Learn more: www.nols.edu Thinking Beyond Borders As a global leader in gap year programs, Thinking Beyond Borders is an expert in offering culturally enriching experiences. They provide students with the oppor- tunity for cultural immersion through homestays in foreign countries. If one of your main determinants to doing a gap year is the cost, Thinking Beyond Borders (TBB) gives students options. TBB helps students build a crowdfunding cam- paign through Generosity.com, which has helped students raise anywhere from a few thousand to twenty thousand dollars. Learn more: https://thinkingbeyondborders.org/ Outward Bound Outward Bound aims to change lives through challenges and discoveries. Participants in the program have the chance to explore the wilderness or cities through 30 to 85-day expedi- tions that give students real- world, hands-on experiences. Many people have found that Outward Bound pushes them both mentally and physically, allowing them to achieve things they never thought possible be- fore joining the program. Learn more: https://www.out - wardbound.org/ Completing any of these gap year programs is an excellent way for your college application to stand apart from others—af- ter all, not many college ap- plicants can say that they have completed an 80-day expedition into the wild or lived with a family in a foreign country. A gap year can help students adequately prepare for college by increas- ing their confidence, rediscovering a love for learning, and gaining invaluable life lessons and skills. Most of the time death happens suddenly and unannounced leaving relatives and friends unprepared. In our native land, performing last rites in accordance with our faiths and culture is not a major issue as those left behind encounter such situations frequently and are thus fairly familiar. When it comes to the expatri- ates, the first generation dias- pora members had a good idea about the way last rites were performed back home in keep- ing with their culture and faiths. And they tried best to maintain those traditions hoping that their loved ones left behind will also handle the situation with what they had seen and learnt. Yet some of the children born and raised here might not have the respect, attachment or com- prehension in the execution of these rites as per the faiths and culture of the par- ents and family in question. This could very well have been the result of failure of the first generation diaspora members in introducing their children to such eventualities. Additionally, our faulty thinking in preventing our children to join these events under the assumption that their attendance might not be in their best interest for their emotional development might have been the root cause of this failure. The emotional upheaval the family goes through at these moments is like a sud- den storm at full swing. The mourners assembled to comfort the family consists of a mixture with some having good awareness of what needs to be done and others without any inkling as to what might lie in store. Having attended the fu- nerals, memorials and final ceremonies in the diaspora families over and over, I have come to the conclusions that there is a dire need for us to actively introduce and engage our children to these events. This may be the only way they could ac- cumulate needed information on first hand and avoid cutting a sorry figure when they face such an eventuality which, of course, they will! This indeed compelled me to jot down few facts that I would like to share. First of all, the children grown up in West often do not find involvement of priests relevant at any level, especially if they themselves are not well versed with the tra- ditions of their faith. Yet, irrespective of the level of their role, the presence of the priests to help guide the children and family is considered imperative in almost all the faiths. To expect locally grown children to follow all the complexities, truly becomes a bitter pill to swallow notwithstanding that many of the first generation diaspora members transplanted here do understand the necessity of those rituals to a greater or lesser extent. Recently I happen to attend a funeral of a person who had a good social standing not only among the diaspora but also among the local Americans. His children were grown up adults almost in their late thirties or early forties. Having been brought up in the West, they had a significant number of their local friends at the funeral. The locally born second generation adult children of the deceased had more awareness and knowledge about the Western culture and local faiths. How- ever, when confronted with the complexities of the rituals of their parental faith, the children felt themselves at a loss and their patience started to wear off. Given that the attendees constituted a mixture of locally raised diaspora children and first generation diaspora members as well as local Americans, there was a great concern among the well-wishers of the family that event goes smoothly. The disdain of the second generation children began to show up for the poorly understood rituals, extended readings of the religious scriptures in a language or script that they had no clue about, futility of wearing particular type of garb and outward exhibition of extreme emotions. Thankfully the presence and wisdom of the priest and his directions took the upper hand and was reluctantly accepted by the grown up children. My intent here is not to blame our future generation. Whatever they do or not do is the consequence of the way and the directions we had shown them plus the overall influence of the not so conducive culture in which they have grown. To expect otherwise now will be asking too much. The last rites, funeral and memorial services are very personal. The spouse is one who lived entire life with the deceased through thick and thin and within the same culture, of course part back home and part here. Who then would know bet- ter than the spouse as to what the deceased liked or wanted? His or her feelings and thought process simply cannot be ignored. At the same time, the children, for good or bad, will be the ones to push the cart forward albeit in accordance with their concept of the prevalent culture. Yet, it is imperative that the previous religio-cultural traditions of the deceased should be honored, respected and carried through and not disowned by his or her progeny. Ignoring the native culture and faith traditions and only directing energies to the adopted Western traditions might not be a good idea. Likewise, turning the entire function to back home traditions and perceiving the society in which the deceased spent major part of later life as alien is also not fair. Af- ter all, we the human beings are social animals. Therefore, ultimately we will have to adjust and live within our sur- roundings and culture as a diaspora, like it or not. Creating a balance in the performance of last rites much akin to anything else in life will perhaps provide peace to the departed soul and comforts to the spouse and the first generation dias- pora children. In order to achieve that objective, children will have to be in- volved from early on and not when the final drama of the life is being played.

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